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Jan 062015

The show has just started. This is a section in front of the Haunted Mansion. Note that the front row is against a fence that has “packing crates” against it, so you can’t see through the fence.

Man (in back row of section): Sit down in front.

Man: Sit down!

Man (yelling now): Sit down in front!

Man: We can’t see over you. Sit down!

Man (still yelling): Thank you all for being jerks. Thank you very much. You’re very nice.

Woman (near man): There’s something in front of them. They can’t see if they sit down.

Man (still very loud): People in the other sections are sitting down.

Woman: They can see through the fence.

Man (yelling again): You should at least have some consideration for other people. Sit down!

He gave up after that.

 Posted by at 7:53 pm
Jan 012015

Guest: Do you know when the next show is?

Cast member: In about ten minutes.

Another guest: When’s the next show.

Cast member: In about ten minutes.

Still another guest: Can you tell me when the show starts?

Cast member: Ten minutes.

Yet another guest: When’s the next show.

Cast member (a little too loud): Nine minutes. Look, do you see that? You know what that is? It’s a clock directly above my head showing exactly when the next show is. All you have to do is look up. Yes, I know when the next show is, because I can look up, at the clock, right over my head!

 Posted by at 7:32 pm
Dec 302014

A couple with a small boy being carried by his father.

Father: Want to go on Indiana Jones.

Mother: He’s too small. They won’t let him on.

Father: We can do the child-swap thing.

Mother: No thanks. We’ve come this far, let’s keep him.

 Posted by at 7:37 pm
Dec 182014

Skipper: And now, on your left, the amazing, the stupendous, the eighth wonder of the world — the back side of water!

Guest: (Begins to sincerely laugh hysterically.)

Skipper (staring at her slack jawed): Wow.

 Posted by at 7:20 pm
Dec 042014

(A mother and her small son have just passed a young man with a very tall Mohawk haircut)

Mother: Did you like that man’s hair?

Child: Yes.

Mother: Do you think it took a lot of work to make his hair like that?

Child: Yes.

Mother: Would you like Mommy to do her hair like that?

Child (yelling): No!

 Posted by at 7:12 pm
Nov 272014

(Family of four, all looking at some kind of electronic device they each have one of.)

Dad (to younger son): Of course you’re tired. Look at how far we’ve walked today.

Mom: Mine says 10,328.

Son: Is that steps or feet?

Dad: It’s minutes we’ve waited in line today.

 Posted by at 7:04 pm